narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

softerworld:

A Softer World: 1090

(let’s turn those smiles upside-down)

buy this print

snh-snh-snh:

I keep thinking oh man, I’m so immature. How am I allowed to be an adult.

Then I spend time with teenagers.

And it’s like, wow, okay, yeah. I am an adult. I am so adult. Look at me adulting all over the place.

Friend: we have too many unfinished rps
Me: i know
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend: so i have this idea for a rp

atomiccrowbars:

sircuddlebuns:

“Bring your wife and trouble, it will never trouble you.
Make her a member of the Midnight Crew.”

next